Photography by Miss W - you didn't really think I'd be in the photo now did you?
I know right? It sounds like something out of a movie (or in the very least a hit teenage American TV show)… eight of your best friends splashing around in an amazing clifftop spa, followed by cocktails and canapés at sunset then a truly decadent private dinner. But in this instance, it wasn’t just my James-Bond-slash-A-list fantasy being played out yet AGAIN in my head (though I must admit, I was lacking the desired Oscar de la Renta gown), it was ACTUALLY my birthday party, at Ibiza’s original five-star hotel, Hacienda Na Xamena!
How old, I hear you ask? Well, an Ibiza lady never tells her age, but let’s just say conversations at the table ranged from outdated 1990’s Balinese furnishing trends to this season’s hot pink Alexander McQueen ankle boots, David Guetta being spotted taking happy snaps of Usher at Ushuaia and pretty much everything in between.
But back to the birthday!
We arrived en masse at the gorgeous San Miguel hotel, fashionably late of course, at around 7pm on Friday evening (even the birthday girl has to meet her deadlines you see!), and were ushered into the all-new private entrance to the La Posidonia Spa and Eden Lounge… where they were awaiting our arrival eagerly and I must admit at this point, the fact that everyone knew my name really did give me a bit of a celebrity-style buzz!
Photography by Miss W - but really.... you had to be there!
Starting with a sundown session in the hotel’s famous Cascadas Suspendidas – a series of different hydo-baths, massaging at different speeds and in different places along the way – we instantly forgot the deadlines, stresses and trivialities of the day, INSTANTLY relaxing from the minute we emerged underwater and felt the first jet. It was somewhat of a cross between an OTT ‘80s soap opera (I mean really, how often do you get in a spa with eight of your besties?) and an Ibiza pool party (because really, how often do you get in a spa with eight of your besties?!). Everyone had their favourite pool – mine, the steaming hot Jacuzzi, the perfect contrast to the cooling air at our high altitude!
Afterwards, we changed for dinner… of course the boys were done and dusted in five minutes, immediately hitting the bar while the girls spent a good half an hour on hair and make-up! With perfect timing, we drifted onto the all-new sunset lounge terrace (in floaty kaftans and with wavy, mermaid locks thanks to the salty spa water) to the sounds of acoustic guitar, and were greeted with a chilled glass of cava as the sun melted into the sea right before our very eyes. Sound like heaven? Pretty damn close in my book!
But then… it got better! After a quick tour of the restaurant spaces – all the while ooh-ing and ahh-ing and hoping we’d get a table on the frontline – we were led upstairs to (get this!) OUR OWN PRIVATE TERRACE FOR THE EVENING! Yesiree. Private. Terrace. Billion dollar views. Oh, and another couple of bottles of chilled cava for good measure, with tasty appetizers to quell our rumbling tummies.
As we lazed around the zebra-print emblazoned lounges, I couldn’t help but wonder where we would be led to next. I could see the silhouette of staff setting a table indoors, through frosted glass windows and figured we’d be moving inside for the main event. But lo and behold, almost like an optical illusion, said table was deftly lifted and transported out onto our terrace, almost as if it hovered there without any assistance. And what a beautiful table it was, scattered with seashells, softly lit by multiple candles and beautifully laid out with sparkling glassware and glistening cutlery.
Photography by Miss W - the magical, hovering table!
The gourmet experience was equally as rewarding as the spa and sunset before it – the highest quality produce presented in the most beautiful of fashions. Starting with a selection of deluxe entrees – think terrine of foie, marinated salmon, lobster cannelloni, creamy arancini and more delicacies created by the Hacienda’s master chef – I could have stopped right there and said it was the best meal of my life. But of course, it would have been downright rude, so make way for the main course(s) we did!
Two mains, two large portions, representing the sea and the mountains (Mar y Montana on the menu) surrounding the hotel, we indulged in a divine filet of the softest, tastiest snapper, followed by a mouth wateringly good beef tenderloin (at this point, my ever-expanding waistline was grateful I’d chosen to wear a forgiving and comfortable kaftan). All the while, our wine glasses were topped up when needed, and our every need one hundred percent catered to – when it comes to fine dining and service, Hacienda’s staff are on the money.
Last of all was an amazing dessert platter – decadent chocolate mousse, carpaccio of pineapple, coconut and ginger sorbet and a selection of cheese – plus the obligatory coffees and rounds of hierbas and my favourite part, the giving of gifts, topping off a perfect evening in an even more perfect fashion.
I feel like my words can’t do justice to what an unforgettable evening this was – old school Hollywood glamour, OTT celebrity style, V.V.V.VIP service, outstanding cuisine and the best of friends – may I take this opportunity to say thank you to all involved, from the very bottom of my heart.
If only we’d thought ahead and booked rooms for the occasion! But then, there’s always a next time…
Photography by Miss W - the most amazing dessert plate!
THE LOWDOWN
THE GOOD: The whole entire experience. If this is how the other half live, I am ready to cross over to the other side! Each and every one of my guests secretly confided that it was the most glamorous, the most decadent, and the most fun thing they’d ever done in Ibiza! And I (despite pretending I do this type of things every day) totally, one hundred percent agreed with them!
THE BAD: In retrospect, I think the hotel could provide guests at the Cascadas with more ample change rooms and general spa facilities (like beauty products and hairdryers). After all, if a girl’s going to dinner in a posh frock, then she’d like the opportunity to blow dry her hair post-spa. Thankfully, our dinner was private, and at least we were all only gazing at each other! Oh, and I could do with that designer gown to wear to dinner and perhaps even a room to stay the night next time. Diva? Me? Never!
THE GOSSIP: The ultra professional and amazingly attentive staff at Hacienda Na Xamena have a strict discretion policy, meaning you won’t hear any gossip from my party (because I surely won’t kiss and tell either!) nor from anyone else’s… no matter how much you may (like me) implore them!
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