Miss W’s blog: 33 things you might not know about me!

Written by Miss W on February 1, 2012

Miss W

As I’m about to enter my fifth year of writing this blog, I started thinking about how much our readers know about me. Sure, you know what I think about parties, about V.Day, W.Day, New Year’s Day, my birthday, and lots of other days… but about me personally? Well! We’ve never really been formally introduced now have we?

So recently when Chief White-ette forwarded me a few blog entries entitled ‘33 things you might not know about me’ (Google it to see who you find!), I got the impression she wanted us to get a little more acquainted with each other (despite me feeling slightly apprehensive). So here you go. Based on the 33 things below, it might turn out that you come to like me. Or it might turn out that you stop reading my blog altogether (I hope not!) And for those of you who know me… am I telling you anything you don’t know at all?

  1. I don’t like writing. Of course, I think I’m pretty good at it, and I seem to have built a career on it but it’s not something I enjoy doing at all.
  1. I strongly dislike exercise of any kind. For god’s sake please don’t suggest a Sunday afternoon walk on the beach to me, a morning swim in summer or any kind of yoga, gym or pilates class unless you want me to delete your number from my telephone. From time to time I will actually partake in some forms of exercise under extreme duress (ie, need to fit into sparkling sequined dress from 2005 in summer 2012) but if you see me doing it, it’s best for all parties concerned if you don’t make eye contact. Or mention it. Ever.
  1. I occasionally contemplate running away from Ibiza to live in New York or Paris. But all I can think of doing in either city is being a writer, and lord knows both places have too many wannabes already, not to mention the aforementioned fact I hate writing. So I’ll stay here until further notice.
  1. I love everything about the ‘70s. The hair, the clothes, the architecture, the attitudes, the TV shows, the music, the lot.
  1. I have a HUGE irrational fear of medical professionals, to the point where I’ve almost suffered blood poisoning twice while trying to avoid visiting the emergency room. I honestly have no idea why I feel this way. At this point in time I am suffering from an incredibly bad back, incomprehensible period pains (too much information? Sorry!) and at least two wisdom teeth that are seriously past the point of needing to come out but I’m ignoring them. So far, I’m winning the battle against my pain threshold but I know the day will come where I have to give in.
  1. I would buy everything in pink if I lived on my own, in a house where I knew absolutely NO ONE could ever visit me. I’m talking couch, tables, rugs, that amazing SMEG fridge, lights, candles, bedding, the lot. But I would never do this if I thought people could see it.
  1. I have the word cat tattooed on my neck in Japanese. When asked why, I give people many reasons (in some parts of China, year of the cat is actually year of the rabbit, but I love Japanese script so chose that is just one of them), but in reality, it’s honestly because I love my cat Buffy more than anything in the world, but it seemed a bit complex to spell that out. As an aside, I was once in a lift in New York when a very obnoxious man kept asking and asking what it translated to, to which my quick witted friend responded, ‘It means F*** off.’ Brilliant.
  1. I love singing at the top of my voice. Unfortunately, I’m really, really bad at it and way too self conscious to do it in front of anyone else so I rarely get the chance. Luckily for you.
  1. I have a slightly morbid fascination with death and grief. I have been like this ever since I was a child and while I’m aware it could be considered mildly unhealthy, I also think it means my mind is open to the possibilities of what does or doesn’t happen after we die, and I’m not scared (yet) of it happening to me. Could also explain my ongoing obsession with vampires…
  1. I always wanted to be a movie star. Not actually an actress, but a real bona fide movie star. My two favourite movies as a child were The Wizard of Oz and The Elephant Man… not sure which one inspired that career aspiration! I also hate having my photograph taken, so I probably wouldn’t have been very good at the vocation anyway.
  1. I was in a very large amount of debt for a long time. I’m not now, and I never will be again. I believe the banks that continued to raise my credit card limits despite the fact I couldn’t pay my bills were to blame, but I still accepted responsibility for my actions (read: ruthless spending!) and paid it all back. Ouch.
  1. I couldn’t care less about politics. Never have, never will. I understand some people may think that’s ignorant, but I just don’t care enough to give it the time of day.
  1. I love living in Ibiza because I can do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want. It really annoys me when people say, ‘Oh you’re so lucky to live there all year round.’ No I’m not. I was brave enough to make the choice, but there was no luck involved.
  1. I totally believe in plastic surgery if it makes you happy. I quite fancy having my lips plumped up and getting my wrinkles smoothed out when the time comes.
  1. I think weddings are absolutely ridiculous however I really believe in the ideology of marriage itself. And despite my wedding phobia, I’d really love a flash engagement ring and I look forward to the day when I can change my surname and practice a new signature!
  1. Paying for water in Ibiza makes me furious. And I don’t just mean the inflated club prices, I mean buying the cheapest bottles from the supermarket too.
  1. I never liked Michael Jackson. And I will walk out of a shop/club/room if any of his music is played.
  1. I am totally addicted to American television shows – most of them aimed at teenagers. Sometimes I think I enjoy TV just a little more than real life. Just sometimes though…
  1. I usually end up disliking the people I live or work with, which could be why I am a little scared to move in with my boyfriend or start a business with friends. There are exceptions to this rule… and I think if they’re reading this, they’ll know who they are. I hope.
  1. I find it very difficult to relax and I haven’t had a holiday since 2005. Prior to that, I hadn’t ever taken a holiday in my life. True story. I have had a job since I was 14 years old, and have always worked really, really hard – to the point where I think now it’s quite possibly an addiction. I’m extremely loyal and dedicated – sometimes perhaps too much – and can’t imagine life without working. Right chief?
  1. I hate answering the phone and the front door unless I’m expecting your call or visit. A courtesy text message or email is the best way to get on my good side (and get granted an audience!).
  1. DC10 is the happiest (and my favourite) place on this earth. I can say this in all truthfulness because I’ve been to Disneyland and I wasn’t half as happy there – did you know they don’t even serve alcohol inside? Conveniently they have a strip of bars at the entrance, and unlike many of Ibiza’s clubs, they DO give passouts.
  1. I always say I’m bad with numbers, but in reality I’m quite good with numbers. I just don’t like to pay attention or be responsible for anything numerical or financial.
  1. I do not believe in (or perhaps I just don’t care about) in conspiracy theories. What’s done is done. Deal with it.
  1. I am a little concerned that one day I will lose my memory or develop Alzheimers. Movies like The Notebook really freak me out because of this.
  1. I have a second cat called Shunti and I sometimes feel bad for not having her name tattooed anywhere. I wonder if this is the way parents feel about their second child when they have one… I will do it one day. Honest.
  1. So many people don’t quite ‘get’ my sarcastic humour – more so in person than in print. Perhaps this is why I ended up being a writer. It upsets me a little, because essentially I am a nice person and I don’t like to think that anyone thinks otherwise.
  1. I don’t like food (or cutlery holding food) to touch my lips. Hence I will only eat fruit that has been cut up, small mouthfuls from my meals or tiny bites using only my teeth. The exception is a McDonalds Quarter Pounder with Cheese (Quarto de Libre con Queso en Español), which I will dig into with gusto, however I will ALWAYS wipe my mouth between every bite.
  1. Bad spelling drives me insane. Especially in this day and age, when spell check makes it so easy! So don’t even get me started on abbreviations. WTF!
  1. Small talk makes me feel really uncomfortable, to the point that I often forget my manners and don’t enquire about other people’s lives/jobs/loves because I’m too busy trying to squirm out of the conversation. I’m not sure if this is down to shyness, nerves or just the fact I hate fake conversations. I’m sorry if I’ve ever done this to you.
  1. Stand-up comedy makes me cringe. I generally just don’t find it funny.
  1. When I was growing up, we had a dog called Molly who got sent away to live on a farm. I still believe this is true – I never once thought she went to doggy heaven. I don’t think I’m being naïve, I just don’t remember her being sick at all so I presume she actually did get sent to a farm rather than wither away in our backyard while I was inside playing with Barbies or watching Disney movies. But I’m never going to ask my mum to clarify!
  1. Despite the fact many of the points I’ve written here seem negative, I am actually a very Pollyanna-esque always-look-on-the-bright-side kind of person… some may think I am hypocritical, others might see the funny side of it all, but it’s true! Trust me!

Oh – I’ve reached 33 already? But I was just getting started…

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